Guide to successful dating singelbörse Erlangen
Still, it doesn’t change the fact that “hard-driving, opinionated, and meticulous” are not on most men’s lists of ideal feminine traits. Then on the next page were what you label downfalls, or what the test said was the way people who don’t think exactly like me may see me: pushy, intimidating, overbearing, restless, impatient, manipulative, abrasive, reactive & dominating. It was hard too facing the fact that though I didn’t see myself that way, some others did.
As someone who considers himself smart and direct, take it from me – there’s nothing wrong with these qualities. I think it’s not that these smart, successful women are exactly those things either, but they are perceived that way by some – not all – of the men they come in contact with.
I used to think this was a weird rule, but as I’ve gotten older and better adjusted to reality, I’ve realized that it makes a lot more sense than I previously thought.
In fact, it’s really smart: Instead of obsessing about finding the “perfect” relationship—which is unattainable, since nothing is perfect—and always coming up short, the 80/20 rule gives us permission to embrace our relationships, accepting our partners for who they are (and accepting ourselves, by extension).
Even though I am 36, most of the people I meet would think that I am only 26.
Unfortunately, I have been through all kinds of online dates in the last two and a half years.
But if it also coincides with being difficult, dating might be a long, tough road for you. The trick to that is knowing how the man you’re with is perceiving you, and being able to tone down or turn off the traits he might find as reason to dump you for someone more agreeable.
I used to think this was dumbing myself down, or playing to the masses, being fake, or not true to myself.
So I knew if I could learn how to do that professionally and make a success of myself, that I could learn that personally too.
They often try to change partners who have no desire to be changed. 😉 See, there’s a price to pay for “being ourselves.” And if you’re going to express your opinion, you can’t be surprised if other people disagree with you. Maureen Dowd, the Pulitzer Prize winning columnist for the New York Times, wrote an entire book about this, called “Are Men Necessary? One of her main observations is that if an amazing woman like her could be single, there must be something wrong with men.
When the partner pulls away because he doesn’t want to be with someone so critical, the “direct” person concludes that he couldn’t appreciate her “honesty.” If this makes you feel personally indicted, welcome to the club. I write things that are, to say the least, provocative…and yet I always get surprised when I receive angry emails from readers. And if you’re trying to win each argument, you can’t be too shocked if he wants a woman who can be a little more acquiescent. What she doesn’t acknowledge is that despite her impressive credentials – attractive, successful, intelligent – she might not be giving men what THEY WANT. Just someone who makes his life EASIER and more pleasant. You are a go-getter and worthy of everyone’s respect. And with a generation of women who pose questions like “Are Men Necessary?
CEOs, doctors, lawyers, hedge fund mangers, business owners, professional athletes, actors, etc… But right behind my good traits are a series of bad traits.
When I am not interested in them, they work for the relationship day and night. Anyone reading this blog can see that: The flip side of being bright is being opinionated.
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But what I realized is there’s a reason they call this the dating “game” and if you want to play, you have to learn the rules.